Part 13: JELL-O

Some time has passed since the sieges started, and by now, I’ve dispatched 2 or 3 goblin sieges. Small sieges. Never anything this big:

So when I saw this many goblins approaching my fortress, I was a bit worried about my army. As legendary as they are, there are only ten of them in total. Perhaps the goblin’s large numbers will work to their advantage.

I need not have worried.

I would like you to imagine, if you will, 30 little goblin figures made from jell-o. Red jell-o. Now, imagine them wearing cute little aluminum-foil helmets and armor, carrying little foil shields and weapons.
Now, imagine picking up a large meat cleaver and hacking them to bits.
That is what this battle looked like.

My army of ten dwarves, armed and armored with dwarven steel, spilled more blood that day than I ever thought possible. The goblin’s iron armor provided no resistance as their bodies were shredded and flung about.

Here is the aftermath. Yes, that’s 30 bodies right there. Most of the bodies are in several places.

I almost feel sorry for them. Then I remember that it was them who attacked me.

If this story inspired you,
Learn to Play
with Peter Tyson's new book.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *