A Fitting End

I just put to rest my adventurer Sibrek Talonboulder. I should warn the newbies that this post contains spoilers.

Anyway, this dwarven hero single-handedly ushered in a Golden Age by slaying all the bad guys in the world. It got to the point where everyone would just shrug and say “I’m flattered, but I have no use for you” when he offered his services.

A couple of civilizations had demon law-givers or demons posing as gods, and I thought about cleansing the world of them, too, but they didn’t seem to be doing any harm and the people loved them, so in the end I left them alone.

Then I journeyed into the depths of the world, back to the slade temple where I’d found the adamantine scimitar that had made the heroic escapades possible. Down I went into the pit, thinking I’d simply try to kill as many demons as possible — to reduce their numbers a little.

Dayfly brutes swarmed and coughed up some terrible extract, but their chitinous skulls couldn’t withstand the adamantine. An undulating blob of snow stood no chance, for obvious reasons. Bronze insectoids were also a dime a dozen, but were dispatched easily enough with a quick stab to the head. The first sign of trouble was a group of dimetrodon monsters, which actually managed to land a couple of hits and didn’t seem to go down as easily as their smaller companions. The dimetrodons soon became quite many, and were joined by dayfly brutes. The end came in the form of a rib-crushing kick to the upper body, which sent Sibrek flying, shattering a bone in his right arm so he lost his shield. Before he could recover, another dimetrodon which bit off that arm while another kicked off Sibrek’s right foot. Sibrek had just enough time to lodge his sword in the thick skull of one of his aggressors before being reduced to complete mush.

Somewhere deep below the ground, a demonic dimetrodon monster is walking around with an adamantine scimitar stuck in its head.

Written by Quantumtroll

If this story inspired you,
Learn to Play
with Peter Tyson's new book.

My Encounter With a False God

So I’m not exactly an avid player of Dwarf Fortress. In fact, I haven’t even played fortress mode that much. Instead, I usually play adventure mode to find my Fun, and what happened tonight was something special, at least for me.

When the new update hit the scene, I decided to create a pocket world with a pretty long history of about 750 years, to see if I could find any crypts and artifacts. What I found was Tuftmatches, a fortress filled with ancient books.

Here’s an example of such a book:

Unfortunately, I had made the mistake of not learning how to read, so I don’t know what was in the books.

So I decided to enter the large building within a fortress, and imagine my surprise when before me stands the great deity Talde, clear as day!

Deciding not to waste any time, I immediately strike up a conversation with him.

He seemed nice enough, although he didn’t want to join me nor let me fight for his cause.

Hearing that, I decided to go outside and explore a bit more, when…

…What the hell?

This is where I started to get just a tiny bit suspicious, so I decided to take a closer look on his person, and well, let’s say the description was unexpected.

So I decide to look up Legends mode. Not finding much info on Talde (just the description), I take a closer look at some of the artifacts I found…

Abesp Frothygalls, huh? Well, let’s check him out and…

By Armok!

So there you have it. The god I met was actually demon from the beginning of time, who has tricked the world into thinking he is a god for over 700 years, writing books about himself to bypass the time.

(It turns out one of those books contained the spell to raise the dead. I might attack him with an army of zombies now.)

Written by SpinozaDreams

Boro Horrorgripped

I’m not sure how it happened, but my goblin, Boro Horrorgripped, got jumped by a Hydra. An epic battle ensued in which Boro had his arm torn off, and thus lost his sword. Certain of his death, he fell back to his last resort: a copper dagger and his (lack of) skill in wrestling.

By sheer luck alone he managed to grab hold of the hydra’s third head with both his legs, repetitively stabbing the head and any other that came close enough. The Hydra, becoming enraged, broke Boro’s grip and bit his left leg, shaking him around and ultimately tearing the leg off. Both creatures where worse for the wear; Boro, missing two limbs and bleeding profusely; and the Hydra, with several fractured skulls and multiple neck wounds.

The Hydra then charged, but Boro rolled out the way and thrust up with the dagger: striking the hydra in the heart and opening a major artery. The Hydra’s heads continued to snap at Boro, who again thrust upwards, stabbing the Hydra in the lung. Both tumbled down together, and all was silent. Boro, mortally wounded, crawled out from beneath the Hydra, triumphant. The Hydra, named Zenod Calledsculpts, had bled to death. Unfortunately, so did Boro.

Submitted by Eirik

The Human and the Minotaur

After weeks of doing mostly Fortress mode, I rolled up a few short lived adventurers. Finally I have one that hasn’t died an embarrassing death. What’s more is he has his own tale that’s worthy of Greek myth. The character is an axeman, 75% of points in axe and 25% in shield. I was pretty much wandering the countryside alone and I stumbled on a cave. As I venture in, my confidence is high since I’m doing pretty well against the rat men and ant men and mud men inside so I go deeper and deeper. I’m starting to get the hang of some of the ‘wrestling’ moves too and have gotten myself up to Novice in it.

At the 3rd level I turn a corner and a Minotaur greets me. He has little more to say than ‘prepare to die’ so, as they say, it’s on. We clash and my axe bites deep into his shoulder, and gets stuck. He smacks me hard enough to break my grip on the handle, and at this time I was unaware how to regain possession, so its to be a hand to hand fight since I sure as hell am not going to run from this big goon; he’s got my only axe! I lunge for his hand, he smacks me good with it and knocks me down. Near the hooves of an angry, bleeding Minotaur is not my idea of a good position, so I grab his knee. This time he can’t shake me free. I advance my grip to a joint-lock. He’s battering my back trying to get me loose. With a joint lock I try to break the knee. I sprain it hard on the first try. He’s still attacking, fortunately his blows are glancing away. On the 3rd attempt, the Minotaur’s knee breaks and the beast goes tumbling down!

Sensing the chance for victory my U shaped avatar leaps on the prone beast’s back and goes for a grip on his throat. My first attempt is good so my next turn advances the grip to a choke-hold  The Minotaur must be thrashing about but the choke-hold stays secure and I start strangling the beast. 5 turns of strangling and he passes out. Several more turns and he dies! It takes a moment for reality to kick in. My character killed a Minotaur with his bare hands. Finally I have an Adventure Mode story worth telling that isn’t about a grisly death at the hands of chipmunks.

Maybe making a dedicated wrestling character is worth the mental image of Nacho Libre I’ll have while playing.

Written by Chris Watkins

A Fluffy Victory

So, I’m just wandering along through this forest, looking for a cave where I could maybe kill some dragons or something and get their fat loot. This was shortly after I had gotten my throwing to legendary +2 (remember this).

I came across a cave and thought, “Well, maybe it’ll be filled with giants or something.”


There was a bronze colossus.

He told me his name then proceeded to bum rush down the side of the mountain after me. Tripping over my feet, I tried to run away and disturbed a nest of fluffy wambler bunnies at the bottom of the mountain. They immediately spread forth in a great cloud at my feet. So, I did as any adventurer would do. I stuffed them in my backpack in an attempt to make some money out of this encounter.

Maybe I could sell them or something.

The bronze colossus was coming up from behind when I was struck with the awesome idea to begin throwing these bunnies at the bronze colossus.

The result was astonishing, and I could do nothing but stand up from my computer with my fist held high in the air, because I had just beaten the game.

Written by Discontent